After seven years working for Rachel, I got Leah. I wanted to be a screenwriter; instead I write marketing copy for small businesses. A victim of those pathetic consolations in the form of “every job is honorable.” A fertile woman, Leah—no question—and she even lives much longer than her sister, and in general she likes, or at least respects, life.
No money, no honor, only whining and hardship and a heart black as pitch. Only bad is what she sees. Her sister is a practical woman, understands reality, basically life‑affirming. She deserves more, my little La’ale. But I do not love her, not with the love she deserves to be loved with. I have no desire for her, even though she fulfills all my needs.
I wanted to tell you that this chase is pointless. In the end you lie on your back beneath the ground. What you’ll get, at best, is a very brief, very passing moment of recognition from people you don’t know and who don’t know you, and in an even “better” outcome—you’ll manage to touch someone’s heart. Good for you. After you touched his heart, he’ll close the medium and walk to the fridge.
You, right now seriously dreaming of becoming something, someone in the cultural world—prepare for years of rejection. If you take your dream too seriously you might even become good at your craft. Very good, even. Nobody will look for you. Nobody will want to know.
The chance your play is chosen for a festival runs somewhere between 1 in 300 and 1 in 500. Your chance of getting development for a screenplay you wrote is under 3%. Your chance of publishing a book with a recognized house is negligible. I succeeded a few times, and you know what? That only makes the whole business even more painful. Because the fact you succeeded once, twice, even five times, it means nothing. No one promises you the next project. The internet is flooded with influencers buying fake profiles to trick the algorithm and sell products, so even exposing your wares for free is anything but simple. Posting on Facebook is simply unsatisfying. YouTube videos are too much work, certainly if you want quality. Podcasts make me vomit.
Artificial intelligence gives you a practical solution for every theoretical issue and problem. Now everyone is searching for spirit. You got this far and you have a work, or part of one, you’d like to publish?
